Things That Make You Go Hmmm: Leather Front Pants

I started getting a catalogue called "Metro Style." I've never ordered from them, but you know how it is - order from one catalogue and suddenly you receive 50 others.

Anyway, I was flipping through "Metro Style" when I came about this beauty:

The front half is leather and the back half is stretch knit. And then there's the fringe on the back pockets.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Wow! Nothing says underpaid stripper like half leather, half stretch knit pants with fringe pockets!"

But I think Metro Style really has something here. First of all, Metro Style only had to skin half a cow. Granted, that cow is probably wandering around somewhere saying, "¿Dónde están mis pantalones?" But Metro Style is sacrificing style to save cows and that deserves a thumbs up.

Second, I know we've all said to ourselves at least once while wearing our leather pants, "Damn! I wish these breathed more." Now you can be unfashionable and chaffage free all at one.

And third, leather fringe pockets! We could all use a little more fringe on our asses.

So tonight I'm raising my half red wine, half grape juice filled glass to you Metro Style for revolutionizing the world of leather pants. Now for the price of a really nice pair of pleather pants, I can get half of the real thing.