TIME Magazine's Numbers

These numbers were on TIME:

742 Number of sexual-assault cases the U.S. Department of Defense has investigated in Iraq and Afghanistan, of which 26 involve attacks on American civilians or contractors

0 Number of civilian cases that have so far been tried in court, according to testimony in recent Defense Department hearings

Read between the lines and you're reading that there are more sexual assaults in the military than in the civilian world.

However, rather than read between the lines, just read the lines. No where in those two sentences does it indicate that there are more sexual assaults in the military. In fact, they are on different points of the legal system spectrum. The 742 sexual assault cases are investigations (no charges and no evidence at this point that says this sexual assualt did happen) while the 0 civilian cases are tried in court (charges have been brought against someone and proof that can prove this sexual assault took place). So how many civilian cases have been investigated? And how many of those investigations that took place in Iraq and Afghanistan have actually been tried in court?

Funny how they don't include those numbers.

My Life Soundtrack

I love how in movies there is always the perfect song for the moment. Wouldn't it be cool if the perfect song just started playing during certain pivotal moments in your life? If my life were a movie, this would be my soundtrack.

*Update: On my computer the playlist is not loading. I'm not sure if others are having this problem or not. If you click on the "Pop Out Player" tab and then click to launch the playlist, My Life Soundtrack will load in seconds in a seperate window. Hope this helps :) And thanks for listening!

Potty Training My Dog

So Maximus is still not housebroken. No surprise really, he's only 3 months old. We used to buy pee-pads to put in his cage, so during the day he can do his business on those things and make the chore of cleaning it up much easier. Much to my dismay he would chew them up and then pee and poo on his bed. So I tried newspaper and cardboard. Same thing. I come home to a mess of paper, pee, and poo. Then to make it worse, I'll take Max outside for 20 minutes and nothing, only to go back inside and while I clean up his cage, he decides to go potty on my carpet. If you match doggy years up with human years, he's got to be going through the Terrible 2s.

So my main question is...Are babies this difficult when it comes to diapers? And if I can't train a dog to go outside, how am I supposed to train a kid to use the toilet? These were not questions answered in Home Ec when we had to carry around a hard boiled egg!!

My Two Pregnancy Mantras

Number One: I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick. I will not get sick.

Number Two (because twins run in Stonewall's family): I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins. I will not have twins.

I will not get sick and I will not have twins. I will not have twins while getting sick. I will not get sick nor will I have twins.

Just keep saying them over and over.

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

The new pup: Maximus The Gladiator

Michael Buble in concert. One of the best concerts.

And the big news of the week...drumroll please...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd never seen a positive pregnancy test before so I had to triple check. As for the negative on the top: Stonewall is definitely not pregnant.

Take it away, Michael!

I know exactly what you mean :)

Making Our Marriage Work

*Sigh* It's been one of those weeks. I haven't been motivated at all this week. That's probably pretty obvious since I haven't posted since last Friday.

Stonewall and I have been in fight mode all week. We haven't actually been fighting all week, but we kinda started on Monday, so all week the tension has been in the air. On Wednesday the shit hit the fan, and since then we've both been walking on eggshells, so as to not piss the other one off.

That's the way we fight though. We'll go a couple of months with no major fights or disagreements and then suddenly BAM! We'll scream at each other like crazy for a good hour, we'll spend the next few days on tiptoes and then we go back to normal for the next few months. It works for us. I think we need that hour of screaming to stay sane (as insane as that might sound).

Honestly, I think our once-every-few-months screaming match helps our marriage rather than destroy it because sometimes its just what we need. This wasn't always the case though. When we had these fights in the beginning we both used to think it meant we were headed for a break-up or the big D. We stuck it out though because despite the bad times, our good times were even better. The point being that with every fight we thought we were one step closer to failing as a couple. So we decided to get some help...with a book.

A while back I read in magazine about this doctor, John Gottman, who claimed that within 15 minutes of listening to a conversation between a couple he could determine whether or not their marriage would survive on its current path with a 91% accuracy. Sounds a little shiesty, but I was curious. I bought his book called The Seven Principle's for Making Marriages Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Turns out this doctor has been doing his studies on marriages for over 20 years (while most other "experts" base their studies on only a couple of years), so I'm feeling this dude knows his crap.

Dr. Gottman's point is that there are 7 principles that every good marriage has and despite having these principles every marriage is different. He's seen couples that never fight, but because they lack these principles their marriage fails, while other couples do nothing but fight, yet as a couple they have these 7 principles, so their marriage flourishes. Its not even a matter of how you fight/communicate, but rather what else you and your spouse bring to the marriage.

For instance, Principle 1 discusses your love map or how well you know your partner. Stonewall and I passed this with flying colors. We talk about everything. We're best friends and we know each other's hopes and dreams and even past failures. This is a strong point for us. Another strong area for us is when we fight we make repair attempts. Meaning even in the middle of a fight we will try and use humor to lighten the mood and bring the other person back from the edge. Another repair attempt is our 10 minute rule: at any point during the fight one of us can call a 10 minute break to allow us both to step away and calm down and reflect on the current situation.

In each chapter there are a group of exercises and quizzes for you as a couple to complete. First, there is a true and false quiz to determine if the chapter's principle is a strong or weak area in your marriage. Then there are exercises that help you both to discover new things about each other and to help improve areas that are considered weak in your marriage. Stonewall and I sat and talked for over an hour on one exercise alone. It was kind of surprising to learn how much we really knew about one another, while at the same time learn even more about each other.

So just from reading this book and completing the exercises, it turns out we aren't abnormal because we blow up at each other rather than calmly discussing, we're just...a married couple. Our fights aren't a weakness (the way we solve a fight could use some improvement, however), they are just a part of who we are as a couple and we aren't heading for Divorce Court. Actually, the more we learn about each other and our relationship, the more it looks like we truly are stuck we each other for the rest of our lives...and we're both okay with that ;)

5 Things About Me

Bitter Betty from The Winter of Our Discontent and KJ at Cabin Fever have tagged me for Five Things About Me Meme. (Okay, I'll admit I have no idea what a "meme" actually is. I'm assuming the definition has something to do with answering a list of questions on blogs, but anyone could tell me that loosely translated it means, "'Five Things About Me' because I like cow-tipping and apple juice" and I would probably believe you. (On a side note, I've never actually been cow-tipping, but I do enjoy apple juice, especially in a child-size juice carton.))

Okay, so here goes (cue dramatic music)...

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago...
1. Putting far to much energy and worry into what college I wanted to attend. (Little did I know that I would transfer schools and 3 schools, 2 majors, 1 minor, and 1 certificate later, I would have a job that involved none of these things. Figures.)
2. Wowing the audience as Cha-Cha in Grease, "The best dancer at St. Bernadette's!"
3. Preparing my poor teeth to go through 2 years of braces in 3 months, so I could get jaw surgery during the summer.
4. Getting my driver's license!!!
5. Religiously watching Dawson's Creek. (Shut up, you know you were a closest Pacey fan.)

5 Things On My To-Do List Today...
1. Start organizing the medical files I've been putting off for the past few weeks.
2. File my taxes. (I tried doing this over the weekend with the Military Turbo Tax. Totally NOT worth the $10 savings. We were all over the board from getting $700 back to owing $5000 (I didn't accidently type an extra zero.) I'm using normal Turbo Tax (which I've used in the past) and staying away from all the tricky question the Military version asks.
3. Tell Stonewall I love him and kiss him passionately when he gets home from work. (This is always on my to-do list and its my favorite part of the day :)
4. Laundry. Eck.
5. Give all three of my pups scratchies because (aside from Stonewall) they are the best three loves a person can have.

5 Snacks I Enjoy...
1. Cookies and Milk (Chocolate Chip, Oreos, Peanut Butter...I don't care as long as its a cookie.)
2. Cupcakes from Baby Cakes
3. Stonewall's Chocolate Milkshakes
4. Pickles
5. Bagel Bites with Ranch Dressing

5 Things I Would Do If I Were A Billionaire...
(Somewhere in here I should probably put, "Save," but that's just too boring and much too practical.)
1. Buy a blue Aston Martin with a black convertible top and black leather interior. (Actually, I would buy 2, an automatic and a manual. I could drive the automatic, but Stonewall insists you can't have an automatic in that kind of car, so I would satisfy his inner racecar driver.)
2. Pay off all our debts (credit cards, mortgage, loans, etc...) and the debts of our parents and sisters.
3. Complete my "List of Goals to Accomplish Before I Die."
4. Pay for Stonewall's Presidential Campaign (hehe!).
5. Get my hair cut by a celebrity hairstylist. (I used to get my hair cut by a guy who had studied under Jose Eber and had been Barry Manilow's personal hairstylist. He had moved back to his hometown area and given up the lifestyle of the rich and famous. Best hairstyles I've ever had for two years until he quit. Even now I would shell out the extra money for a celebrity hairsylist if I lived close enough to one.)

5 Bad Habits
1. Leaving half empty water bottles sit all over the place.
2. I waste paper. More specifically, Post-Its. Actual to-do lists or computer to-do lists just don't work for me. I write my to-do lists and any other notes for myself on Post-Its. I go through about 1 Post-It pad every 2 weeks.
3. I leave my shoes where I take them off until I wear them again. Sometimes my shoes will sit in the living room or kitchen for days before I pick them up.
4. I snooze in the morning for an hour or longer. I could either sleep for an extra hour or be at work on time if I got up the first time my alarm goes off.
5. I swear entirely too much. I'm at my worst while driving. I'm going to have to hire a driver when I have kids or else their first words will be f**k, s**t, or jacka$$.

5 Places I've Lived
1. Harrisburg, PA - I was a baby. I think we moved when I was a year old.
2. Dover, PA - We lived across from horses and had an awesome sledding hill. That's about all I remember about Dover.
3. York, PA - This could actually be broken up because we lived in 4 different houses in York and I went to 3 different school districts.
4. Kutztown, PA - Remember the whole college thing? This was number 1.
5. State College, PA - This was number 3, but sooo much fun.

5 Jobs I've Had
1. A filing clerk at my pap's business until I graduated from high school and then during summer and winter breaks during college. Boring, but incredibly well paid.
2. Assistant producer for the radio station at Penn State's College of Communications as well the host(ess) for Chick Chat and Your Morning Coffee.
3. A computer lab attendant at Penn State.
4. An assistant at a comic book store at Penn State. (Actually, my best friend worked at the comic book store and most days I would hang out there and keep her company and help her clean up and dissuade the weirdos from hanging out too long. I didn't get paid with actual money, but rather alcohol.)
5. A paralegal. This job was okay, but it paid jack.

Okay, now I'm tagging 5 people who will hopefully be so kind as to answer the questions and post this on their blog!

1. Mrs. Sgt at Married To The Military. She has some awesome stories about 2 of the cutest kids (and from her most recent post, soon to be 3!!!) I've ever seen and of course, the suitcase.
2. LAW at Proud Liberal Army Wife. She may be a liberal (but definitely not one of those liberals), but she's also funny, and I love reading her blog.
3. Ana at Sunrise on the Water. My pap was Navy and so was Stonewall's grandfather, so I love reading about the Navy life.
4. Wendy at Wendy's Tiki Hut. I'm an East Coast girl, so I like reading about what's going on at Paradise Island. Plus, I'm super jealous that she lives in Hawaii, so I'm living vicariously through her blog.
5. Mark at The Queen of Hearts Blog. My ultimate dream job would be a wedding planner. In reality, I would be too afraid of screwing up someone's big day. That being said, I thoroughly enjoy reading about Mark's adventures while planning "The Big Day."

My Husband "Works" For the Military

So I was a wee bit wrong about Norwegian. Their customer service reps are really nice and they do try to be as helpful as possible, but alas, nothing is perfect.

I called Norwegian yesterday to reschedule the cruise that had been intruded upon by the military. The Norwegian Cruise Line rep easily switched our first reservation over to the new cruise and applied the money we had already spent on Cruise #1 to Cruise #2. Then the kicker: We're being charged an extra $500 for cancelling within 40 days of the sail date. Figures. However, since I had bought the Travel Protection Insurance and we were canceling due to military related reasons, I could call the TPI office and hopefully get reimbursed the $500 cancellation fee.

So I called the TPI office and was told, "I'm sorry, but the TPI does not cover work related cancellations."

Work related?!?! Apparently, the powers-who-are over at the NCL TPI office have never been in the military or married to someone who is. The military does not equal "work." "Work" is a 9-5 job. "Work" does not have overtime with no overtime pay. "Work" allows you to socialize with all colleagues at the end of the day. "Work" does not send state troopers to your house if you should choose to not show up. "Work" does not include 18 month "business trips." "Work" does not mean leaving and knowing you may never be coming back. THE MILITARY IS NOT "WORK" AND A CHANGE IN A MILITARY SCHEDULE IS NOT "WORK RELATED!"

The military, my fine friends at the NCL TPI office, is a life and all changes in a military schedule are life related. Perhaps you didn't hear what I said: My husband does not work for the military, he is military.

I realize that I may be a bit over dramatic at this point in time. However, I feel it is insulting to lump the military in with civilian jobs. They are not the same. I have to learn to live with that and so can the rest of the civilians.