Halloween Costume?

Tomorrow night is THE night. The night when you can go out in public strutting your fairy wings and no one will look at you through their Harry Potter glasses and think you're a nutcase (well, in most cases anyway). That's right...its Halloween! Its the night of costume contests, bobbing for apples, tricks and treats, and a whole lot of T and A.

Yes, I have a bone to pick with girls of my generation. When did Halloween party become synonymous with brothel? I thought Halloween was supposed to be about using your imagination, not leaving nothing to the imagination. Wearing a pair of green panties and a child size black vest with 5 inch black heels and thigh highs does not mean you are a leprechaun. Last time I checked Dorothy did not shake her cleavage and bare her technicolor ass while following the yellow brick road.

Over the weekend my sisters and I went to a bar. Obviously, we dressed up in our totally wonderful, completely awesome costumes as the Chipettes. Our asses were covered and do the Chipettes have cleavage? Absolutely not, so neither did we. While we were out though, we witnessed quite a few girls dressed as...well...we don't really know. Its possible the bags their costumes came in said "Slut" but that seems pretty doubtful because in their minds they would never degrade themselves in that manner. One chickie had on a pair of pleather boy-short underwear, a swiss/milk maid type shirt, with red heels and thigh highs. Was she a milk maid? Was she Swiss Miss without the pigtails? I personally was putting in a vote for the Ricola chick. The point is, none of us knew what she was except a chick with her ass hanging out. The other point, even if she was going for one of the above, none of them dress that way anyway. (The other kicker, some guy told her she looked hot in her "costume" and she got all up in his face. Hello, you twit!! When you dress like that and call it a Halloween costume what the hell do you expect? Don't even try and tell us you never expected that reaction from dudes dressed like that. Dudes, don't watch porn for the story lines.)

A few years back I saw some girl dressed as Betty Boop. She was wearing a short little red dress, with heels, and a garter. Did I fault her? Absolutely not! She was dressed exactly how Betty Boop would dress, weird hair and all. If you dress up looking exactly like the character you're supposed to be (no matter how they look) then you've accomplished the point of Halloween. However, if you put on a skin tight red mini dress and red knee-high boots, you are not a firefighter. Please do not try to convince me you are.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I am by no means a prude. I like to shake my bon-bon and tatas like any other hot-blooded chick, and I do so sometimes in a cute little outfit. I'm all about women embracing their sexual freedom and being allowed to the live the same lifestyle as any guy without being put down and called a ration of sexually explicit names. However, Halloween is not an excuse to go out in your lingerie and call yourself Maria Antoinette or Cinderella. Alice in Wonderland did not show her Cheshire cat to the White Rabbit (at least not in the Disney version) and I certainly do NOT want to see it either.

MatthewSnyder.org

Right now, Albert Snyder, father of Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, is going head-to-head with Westboro Baptist Church members. Members of the church picketed at Matthew's funeral last year carrying signs that read, "Thank god for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags." Snyder is seeking damages for invasion of privacy and intent to inflict emotional distress. However, whether or not the church members are protected by the First Amendment is also an issue.

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church have protested at several funerals for military personell who have died while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Several states have passed laws that ban picketors from doing so. A federal law has also been passed. However, this particular law suit is the first known to have been filed by family of a service member.

Monetary donations can be made at http://www.matthewsnyder.org/ to help the family pay for their suit againt the Church.

Freedom Salute

Stonewall's unit has been informed that several members of the unit will be recognized during the Freedom Salute. The Freedom Salute is a way to recognize and honor National Guard soldiers who have served in Operations Noble Eagle, Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom and their families for supporting them.

According to the Freedom Salute overview at http://www.virtualarmory.com/, this campaign was started in December 2003 and has recognized over 100,000 soldiers, family members, employers, and other persons of importance. The website also says that this campaign is first and foremost considered a recruiting and retention program. I guess that's great because it is important to retain our soldiers and recruit new ones. However, is the Freedom Salute for the individual soldiers or the Army?

This reminds me of the Friends episode when Phoebe wants to do an act of kindness that is 100% unselfish. However, she runs into a problem because if she feels good or happy about her act then it isn't 100% unselfish. While an effect of the recognition of soldiers might be an increase in retention and recruiting, I don't think the campaign itself should be described as a program specifically for recruiting and retention. The Army might as well present the soldiers with their flags and pins and then their renewal contracts.

Does an act of kindness make you feel good about yourself? Absolutely. Should an act of kindness be performed because it makes you feel good or because it makes someone else feel good? Please, recognize my soldier and the sacrifices he has made. He deserves it and he deserves to feel good about it, but do it because you honestly want to thank him not because you have a quota to meet.

*Update: Read about my new thoughts on the Freedom Salute here.*

I Am Happy

What makes a good military spouse? This is like that question, "What is love?" Everyone has a different definition. If you're the spouse, you probably think one thing, while the soldier thinks another. Can you sum up the qualities of a good military spouse in a few short sentences or even a few paragraphs? Not only that, but what works in one military spouse, might not work so well in another. However, there is one quality that all good military spouses share: optimism.

We are the optimistic ones. We are the ones who believe the glass is half full, everything happens for a reason, look for the silver lining, tomorrow is another day, when life hands you lemons... The list goes on, but you get the point. While we may appear to be the least likely candidates for optimism (another deployment, another move, another training school...), we're actually very good at being optimistic.

• It's only 12-18 months. It could be longer.
• We have the internet and satalite phones now. We could be dependant on letters only.
• We move so much, but we get to travel and see the world.
• I get to meet so many interesting people that I never would have met living in the same town my whole life.
• At least I don't have to pack my own boxes.
• Jodie who? I can go months without sex because my vibrator works wonders.
• Can we say military discount?
• At least, we can retire comfortably and at a normal retirement age.

So while it may seem that optimism is very rare in our lives, in reality, we are all pros at it.

OK, so, truth. We need to be optimistic. There are certain aspects of the military life that can bring a person lower than they ever thought possible. Who wants to live their life thinking that everything will go wrong and that everything is wrong? Being a military spouse isn't easy. In fact, it takes a very strong person to live and be happy in this life of uncertainty. A military spouse has to look at every situation and be able to say, even in the hardest of time, "It could be worse. At least, there is a silver lining."

When you're significant other finally asks you to marry him, you aren't just saying yes to him. You're saying yes to the military and a life of heartbreak, heartache, and optimistic prayers and wishes. Here is the secret no one told me before I became an army wife: I am the strongest person I know. The world is not peaceful and it is full of hate and terror, but at least I am here and I am married to the best soldier there is and I am happy.

When Trumpets Fade

I was wrong! Stonewall will be the first to tell you that I do not easily admit when I am wrong. However, in this situation, I will gladly admit that I was incorrect. Back in September, I posted that there are no movies that focus on the National Guard. It would appear that this is untrue. Back in 1998, there was a made for TV movie called When Trumpets Fade and it is about a National Guard unit.

This movie is about the 28th Infantry Division, which just so happens to be a part of the Pennsylvania National Guard. It takes place during WWII and follows the story of Private David Manning at the battle of Hurtgen Forest.

While I am super excited that there is actually a movie about a National Guard unit, I have to wonder why it was just a made for TV movie. The reviews call this movie the best war movie ever made. The movie also won several awards. Surely, a movie like that deserves to be seen on the big screen.

If you've seen the movie, please let me know. Or if you know where I can get a copy of it. I believe I have made it quite obvious, but I am a National Guard fan. A movie about my "team" is something that I must see, even if it is only made for TV.

Thank You

I want to thank everyone who posted comments to my post from yesterday. It really means a lot to me to have so much support from so many people. I know that this wonderful collection of military spouse bloggers will help me get through the days when Stonewall is deployed. Thank you so much for inviting me into your worlds everyday through your blogs. I know I enjoy having you all in mine.

Life Is...

One day your world seems right. You have a great husband, a new house that's starting to feel like home, and two of the cutest (if not always best behaved) doggies. You have no complaints about your job. Your husband's job is even better and a deployment is still a couple of years away. Life is good, comfortable, satisfying.

Then there's a meeting. A few of phone calls and suddenly a couple of years turns into a couple of months. And your perfect, right world is thrown into chaos.

It Makes No Difference How You Make a Difference

Yesterday, I wrote about getting involved with a military charity. If you look through the websites I listed in that post, you will no doubt find a cause that is near and dear to your heart. When Stonewall and I were looking for a charity to donate to in honor of our wedding guests we used these websites and found the Children of Fallen Soldiers Relief Fund.

The Children of Fallen Soldiers Relief Fund is an organization that provides college grants, as well as financial assistance to military children and spouses who have lost a loved one in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. The Fund also provides assistance to families whose service members are severely disabled. Since 2005, the Fund has awarded $84,500 in college grants and $76,558 in financial assistance to children and spouses of fallen soldiers.

When Stonewall and I first began looking for a charity, we had decided that we wanted to donate to one that helped children of soldiers. We considered the Scotland School for Veterans' Children, but we also wanted a charity that was for the children whose parents has served in either Iraq or Afghanistan. We found several charities that met our criteria, but in the end we felt that CFSRF was the best choice. We wanted to donate to a charity in honor of our wedding guests and at the time the only thing we had time for was to donate money to CFSRF, but now we are looking into getting more involved by volunteering with a charity.

Whether it's through time or money, donating to a charity can be a very rewarding experience. Most sites for charities list various ways that you can help. You can help CFSRF by shopping at stores that will donate a portion of their proceeds to CFSRF, or if you are a business owner you can donate a portion of your proceeds. The CFSRF lists several other options on their websites such as holding a fundraiser at your school or church or donating money in lieu of a gift for your wedding or other special occasion event. CFSRF, like most charities, also asks for volunteers to give their time to help organize and run the Fund.

If you're looking for a great charity that helps children of US soldiers, CFSRF is a great place to donate your time and/or money. However, if the CFSRF is not the type of charity you are looking to donate to, please go Military Connection or American Supports You and find a charity that fits you. Getting involved and donating can take as much or as little time as you have available. Even if you don't have the time to go and volunteer with a charity, the five minutes it takes you to write a check can and will mean the world to someone else.

If you would like to donate online or by check to the Children of Fallen Soldiers Relief Fund, please click here.

Military Charities, William Shatner, and Denny Crane

I love William Shatner. I'm not a Trekie, though. My love for William Shatner began with Boston Legal, and Denny Crane. I love William Shatner for another reason though. He is one of the most involved actors of our time. He works for/supports hundreds of charities.

Back in June, Mr. Shatner posted this article on his website. If there is one thing that I like, its a celebrity that seriously supports a good cause. If there is one thing that I love, its a celebrity that supports a military cause.

There are literally hundreds of charities that support our troops and that is the way it should be. Our troops are supporting us with their lives, the least we can do is support them with everything else we've got. If you peruse the many military blogs on the world wide web, you will not doubt see at least one site/link to a military charity per blog. You can also go to Military Connection and American Supports You to find a charity that supports the cause you are interested in.

Even if you can't actually donate time to our troops, you can donate stuff. The Walter Reed Army Medical Center is a great place to start. Not only do our troops need the support while they are deployed, but they also need the support when they are home. Celebrities are not the only ones who can make a difference. William Shatner may be the one who can tell thousands of people about the Medical Center on his website, but you can be the one who actually sends the items.


PS. If you don't already watch Boston Legal, I highly recommend you give it a whirl. Its on ABC on Tuesday nights. However, if you have no sense of humor you might want to stick with the news. This show can be offensive as it does mock our country's legal system (and our government), often to the extreme, but always in good fun. The show has also been known to focus around military issues and the support of our troops.
"You Democrat! Always protesting war and gun possession! If it were up to you nancys nobody would be shooting anybody and then where would we be?!" Denny Crane
"Soul, that's a religious thing. State...church...it's unconstitutional for the United States to have a soul." Denny Crane
"If all else fails and you think you've lost...pretend you won! It works for our President." Denny Crane

The Clothes Say It All

Stonewall just got back from New York with lots of gifts for me! One of my favorite things that he got me is a bumper sticker that says, "My husband is serving US Army." I love telling people about my husband and his job. Mainly because I'm so freakin' proud of him and his head gets too big when I tell him how awesome he is, so I need to brag to other people every now and again. I have so many items that "announce" to the world that my hub is a soldier. I have a sweatshirt that reads, "I 'heart' my soldier and I magnet that claims the same thing. I also wear US Army t-shirts and sweatshirts all the time. (One look at me and its pretty obvious I'm not the soldier: blonde hair, high heels, and an unnatural love of pink.) What can I say, I enjoy being an army wife and I want everything to state as much.

When Stonewall and I first began dating, I went nuts looking for "Army Girlfriend" paraphanalia. Once we got married I went after the "Army Wife" things. My favorite place to look for new Army stuff is Cafe Press. This site is a unique items shopper heaven. The idea behind the site is that anyone can create a design. Once you have your design simply upload it, create a name for your store, and start selling it on products of your choosing. Some of the money earned from selling products with your design goes back to Cafe Press, but you keep most of the money. The only downfall is that when Cafe Press says anyone can sell their design, they mean ANYONE. A search for "Army Wife" under women's t-shirts and apparel brings up 9,750 designs on 83,500 products. You certainly have options though...LOTS of options. If you have money to spend and your looking for "Proud Army Wife" products (and we're talking apparel, coffee mugs, mouse pads, pet supplies, etc, etc, etc), you will not leave the site unhappy (overwhelmed maybe, but not unhappy).

Even if you're not looking for Army items, check out the site. If you're looking for gifts you can probably find a design for any occasion/topic. Cafe Press claims to have 5,820,000 designs on 95,900,000 products. With those numbers, you have to be able to find at least one design on one product that you just have to have.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do!

I May Be Crazy...

I'm a superstitious person. Always have been, always will be. (Sometimes I think it may be more OCD than superstition, but hey, potato, potahto...) I don't get freaked out though by the normal superstitions: black cat, broken mirror, etc. Instead I create my own superstitions. Especially when Stonewall is away from home because of the Army.

When he was deployed I would send him two emails a day and one had to include a picture of me. When we would talk on the phone he had to hang up first. I slept with the sweatshirt he wore the night before he left every night. (I even took it on a cruise with me.) I wrote a letter to him every night before I went to bed. Finally, I had to say the same prayer every night. I was convinced that as long as did every single one of these things Stonewall would come home safely. And he did.

Now, granted he hasn't been deployed a second time to Iraq, but he does go to drill and as of late he's had to go on several "business trips" for his new unit. However, the same rules still apply. Well, okay, not the exact same, but some habits die hard. When we talk on the phone he has to hang up first. I sleep with his pillow now instead of a sweatshirt and the prayer is a little different.

Its these "superstitions" though that get me through the hard times, the times when Stonewall is gone. Maybe I am being OCD, but when these things can get me through a day, I'll take them. There were so many days when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep. However, I can't stay in bed and type emails. My "superstitions" helped me move from day to day.

I can't imagine what it must have been like for Stonewall in Iraq and being so far from everything he loves. (Perhaps his experiences were similar to what these soldiers are doing right now qhile deployed: Iraq Partii and Marissa's Deployment Blog.) However, I don't think Stonewall can imagine what it's like being at home and waiting. Those two feelings must be so different. He was away from home, but he was experiencing things he had never even known before and he was kept busy sometimes working 30 hour days. There was always something that he had to do, someplace he had to be, procedures he had to follow to make sure he and his soldiers got their mission completed and got home safely. What do we get to do here at home to make sure the ones we love come home safely?

Maybe I'm silly and superstitious and OCD and a million other things to describe my craziness. But maybe, just maybe, I'm also just trying not to go crazy wondering if he's safe and when he'll be home. Maybe to not go completely crazy, I have to be just a little crazy.

Halloween in the Army

Its October already which means...HALLOWEEN!! Time to plan your totally fabulous, one-of-a-kind, awesome costume!! I, for one, am all about Halloween costumes. I love to see creative and original costumes and I try every year to be wearing one of them. And even if someone is wearing a costume that I wouldn't necessarily wear, if it falls in to the categories listed above, I give them props. However, there is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to Halloween costumes.

We've all heard the stories about Halloween costumes that go too far: the white frat guy who dressed up as a black chick, Prince Harry wearing the swastika. Every year you hear about at least one person who takes their costume too far. If you were at a party with that person, would you say something to them or would you let it go as an innocent Halloween prank? Well, I said something.

Stonewall, both of our sisters, and I were at a Halloween party at a bar last year. This was about a month after Stonewall returned from his deployment and we were still dealing with the guilt/depression/everything else that comes with a soldier when he comes home. My sister was the first of us to notice the offending costume. It was a guy and he was dressed up as a soldier. A dead soldier. He was wearing an Army uniform and he had used makeup to put bullet holes and blood on his head.

Like I said, I'm all for people being creative and for pushing the limits when it comes to costumes, but this was going to far. Especially considering the current situation our military is in. I was about to marry a man who still had nightmares about the things he saw while in Iraq. The last thing he, and I for that matter, needed was a very real looking dead soldier standing in front of him.

At first, we tried to keep Stonewall from seeing the costume, but a costume like that tends to make people whisper. Most likely, I was not the only person offended by his costume choice, or the only military significant other in the bar. Inevitably, Stonewall saw the costume and while he tried to play it off, he proceeded to get exceedingly drunk.

I was not about to let it slide though. There is humor, there is creativity, and then there is pure downright insensitivity and cruelty. This guy was the latter. I found the guy sitting at the bar and told him that his costume was inappropriate for a number of reasons and if he did not leave on his own, I would ask the manager of the bar to escort him out. (The manager may or may not have complied, but I sure as hell would have tried!) The guy tried to convince me that he was a soldier who had just recently come home from Iraq as well. I did not believe a word of it because I can not imagine a returning soldier thinking the death of his fellow soldiers was a joke meant for a Halloween costume.

After I walked away from the guy my sister said something to him as well. He left soon after, which was good for several reasons, including that drunk Stonewall was convincing the table next to us the soldier guy needed to be lynched.

Halloween is a fun holiday. Not only do you get to dress up, but its a time for no-guilt candy, haunted houses, and pumpkin carving. Have a good time with Halloween, but also keep in mind that you'll be around other people. I realize that something will always offend someone. However, take a look around, use your brain, and have some common courtesy for people around you. There are some costumes that will never be appropriate and a dead soldier is one of them.

Support Our (NG) Troops!

The National Governors' Associtation released a new survey in September in support of National Guard families. The NGA surveyed all 50 states and Puerto Rico about programs and benefits provided to National Guard and Reserve members. The programs and benefits fell into one of six categories:

1. State Employees
2. Educational Benefits
3. Tax and Financial Benefits
4. Family Support
5. Licensing, Registration and Fees
6. Protections, Recognition and Employment Support

As you scroll through the survey, you notice that some states offer far more support than other states. As to why that is, this survey offers no explanation. Hopefully, though as this survey makes its way around all the states will take a look at what they do and don't offer and make improvements.

Of course, I'm most curious as to what Pennsylvania has to offer. PA isn't doing too bad, as the state does offer programs and benefits in all six categories. It does not appear as though PA has the best and the most programs and benefits, but PA National Guard and Reserve members and families are making out pretty well.

Once you find your state I highly suggest you do some more research on the different programs and benefits listed. There are quite a few in PA that I was not aware of, but could definitely benefit Stonewall and me. These benefits and programs are not in place just to give NG members and families an added bonus. They are here for us because we need them. NG families definitely deserve all the help we can get.