Writing Practice

I'm writing.

Not blogging, but writing a story.  I haven't done this since I was in college.  I've had the hankering over the past several months to get several story ideas down and I'm going for it. 

I used to love to write stories.  In middle school, high school, college.  After college, the desire to write sort of died down as work, getting married, house buying, child, blogging, etc, etc, took over my life.

Like I said, I've been wanting to write recently, but for some reason every time I sit down to blog, nothing wants to come out.  I realized it's because this is the wrong type of writing I've been feeling the urge for.

I'm starting by submitting a short story to a writing contest I found on another blog.  Wish me luck.  It's due by Saturday and I've only got three sentences so far.

Willy Winkie Time

Does anyone else's husband work on winkie time?

You know, you did the dirty last night and by noon the next day he's complaining you two "never do it!"

The convo usually goes something like this:

Him: "Babe, we never do it anymore."
You: "What are you talking about? We just did it last night."
Him: "No, the last time was like two weeks ago."
You: "Definitely last night and good to know I was so memorable."

It's like 24 hours in real time equals two weeks in winkie time.  What the hell?!  When will dudes learn that Gina needs to recuperate?  She is not a 24 hour convenience store.

The Joys of Potty Training

We like to talk about potty and poop around here.  It's a natural part of life, so I see no reason to pretend going potty just doesn't exist. 

Plus, its one of the few times during my day that I have all to myself.  Well...before I had a three year old it was one of the few times.  Now I have to lock the door and move the bathtub in front of the door to guarantee no one will be walking in on me, but that doesn't stop the knocking, the calling my name, and fingers appearing under the door.

The potty has become another source of excitement in our house recently because Lil Mootz is FINALLY potty-trained.  YAY!  Some serious happy dancing going on here.

Oh and we did it without the 19 obligatory potty training items, thank you very much.  Take that potty training experts.   Boo-ya!

Potty training has led to some interesting moments though.  There was the first time Lil Mootz had a major pooping accident in his underroos which led to me wondering between rooms holding dirty underroos wondering what the heck I'm supposed to do now.  Do I just throw the underroos away?  Throw them in the dirty clothes pile or straight into the washer? This was not something they went over in the "Congrats you're pregnant! Now what?" class three years ago. (FYI - just swish the underroos in the toilet to initially clean them.)

Then there was the time Stonewall decided to teach Lil Mootz how to play swords.  I still have no words to describe my feelings on that bad decision.

And then there was this...

Stonewall, Lil Mootz and I are hanging out in the backyard.  I look over and there is Lil Mootz with his bare butt just hanging out.

Me: "What are you doing?!"

Lil Mootz: "I going pee."

Me: "No!  We do not pee outside.  If you have to pee you use the potty inside."

Stonewall: "Oh, just let him go."

After Lil Mootz has finished he turns around and says to me, "You don't have winkie.  You go inside."

Fantastic.  Now even my three year old it telling me I'm jealous because I can't pee standing up and have to use modern conveniences like a toilet.

So we're outside a bit longer, when once again I look over and there is Lil Mootz bare tushy out for all the world to see, only this time he is squatting.

Me: "What are you doing?!"

Lil Mootz: "I pooping."

Me, giving Stonewall the Look-At-What-You-Created-Now Mommy glare: "You handle this."

But my favorite potty moment...

Lil Mootz likes to do things himself.  Including wiping after pooping.  So the tip of the day: I've found that the best toilet paper for this endeavor are the Cottonelle Flushable Wipes or as I like to call them, The Totty Potty Wipes.  I discovered these handy dandy wipes after Cottonelle sent me a lovely Cottonelle Care Routine package that included them. 

The other day I walk up the stairs and I see Lil Mootz standing in front of the potty, pants around his ankles, attempting to use the plunger.  This so cannot be good.

Me: "What are you doing?!"  (Hmmm...a lot of our conversations seem to start this way...)

I notice the empty container of The Potty Totty Wipes laying on the floor (keeping in mind that this morning it was mostly full...).  I look in the toilet and see all of the wipes stuffed into the toilet hole.

Me: "Sam!  Seriously, what are you doing?!"

Lil Mootz, giving me the puppy eyes: "I wipe, Mummy.  I have two poops and I wipe." (Yes, he counts his poops.  So not only are we potty training, but we're learning math skills.  Multi-tasking, folks.)

And with that answer I can't be mad...even as I fish out of the toilet a whole container of Cottonelle Flushable Wipes.

I would also like to point out that the Cottonelle Wipes are not just for potty-training tots.  My tushy is quite fond of them as well.  However, when I use them they are more fondly known as the Hummin' Bummin'.   

So Cottonelle wants to know, what do you call your Cottonelle Care Routine?

Visit Cottonelle.com for more on Cottonelle toilet paper,
flushable wipes, coupons, and more.

And when you head over to their Facebook page and add your routine name to the Official Name Generator you're entered to win a year's worth of Cottonelle products!  Now that's a happy tushy!

*I was compensated for this post. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own.*

Sammy's Jammies Junction: A 3rd Birthday Party with Trains & Pajamas

I finally have the photos from Lil Mootz's 3rd birthday to share!!

I know I say this every year, but holy cow! Can you believe he's 3 already?!  I feel like just yesterday we were here: Stonewall and (Army)Wife Plus One.  Now I have a little boy running around!  Where, oh, where does the time go?

Anyway...

If you want to see the photos from his party head on over to the Pip Events blog where I have all the details posted.

Today I Will Be...

This hangs on my wall in my Pip Events workroom.  Some days I don't feel like designing or printing or cutting or dealing with customers because I had a bad day at work or life is just sucky at the moment.  This sign inspires me to just dig in because no matter how I felt when I started, when I'm finished I always feel happier.

Pip Events is my french fry.

It's My Party and I'll Misbehave If I Want To

I think my kid is in danger of becoming "that kid."  You know, the one no one really wants to invite to birthday parties.  I hate to say that because he's my kid and he is only three, but we've had some pretty bad birthday party experiences of late.

First, there was his cousin's first birthday party about a year ago.  It went something like this:

• Parents congregating in the living room and kitchen eating, chatting, etc. etc.
• Kids playing outside.
• Kids running inside screaming their heads off about poop.
• One parent saying, "There's a little boy outside with a poopy diaper around his ankles."
• Me, mortified, as I realize that's my child.
• Children still freaking out and parents doing nothing to calm them down, but rather urging the situation on.
• Me, getting Lil Mootz and carrying him inside, bare poopy ass in everyones' faces.    

(Okay, I'll admit...I was more pissed by the adults' reactions to this situation than by Lil Mootz's peep show.  Like a 2 year old with a poopy diaper around his ankles is freakishly rare.  I did my best to shove his poopy butt in as many faces as I made my way through the crowded kitchen to the bathroom.)

Then, it was his party at the beginning of February.  As all the kids were sitting down to eat their cake, Lil Mootz decided to throw a major tantrum by throwing his cake on the floor.  This wouldn't have been so bad except everyone, all 30 invitees, were crowded around the table singing "Happy Birthday."  Not only did they witness Lil Mootz's tantrum, but they also witnessed my piss poor attempt at getting him to settle down.  Let me tell ya, there's nothing like 60 pairs of eyes to make you feel like no matter how you choose to discipline your child someone will be judging you and your failure as a parent.

And finally, just the other weekend he made the birthday boy cry...twice.  Once more we were all gathered around for the birthday cake.  Halfway through the song I watched as Lil Mootz leaned over and blew out the candles.  If you have a moment that is more mortifying than watching your kid blow out the birthday candles that do not belong to him mid-song, having the birthday boy start crying, and then having the parents stare you down as you apologize profusely...please, share it with me to make me feel better.

Like I mentioned, he made the birthday boy cry twice.  As we were saying goodbye, Lil Mootz tried to give a hug to D., but when D. said no, Lil Mootz pushed him down.  The tears once again started flowing and by this point I was so apologized out I just grabbed my kid and ran.

I did manage to track down the birthday boy's mom right before we left to thank her and once again apologize.  She tried to be all gracious about it, but I could just tell she was not too terribly thrilled with my kid's behavior.

Do your kids have any mortifying birthday party moments that made you want to hide under the table?

This Valentine's Day Card Is For You!

To my hubby...

 
;)


To Carsley...

In case we both end up divorced or widowed, I'd like to keep my options open.


To those who have married and loved me, my mom, and sister...

And to my loveliest of lovely readers...

Happy Valentine's Day, folks!  I hope you get shot by a little naked baby with wings.

When Is a Marine (& Others) Not a Marine (or Others)?

Well, I couldn't resist jumping on this bandwagon...

Apparently, some Army wife from her own little world published a post stating that National Guardsmen are not "real" soldiers, wives of NG soldiers are not "real" Army wives, etc, etc, blah blah blah.  It's causing quite the stir.  (Update: Her blog has been removed and a public apology from the commander of a Vermont-based Army recruiting station has been issued.)

Sound familiar?

Yep, I had this discussion with another "real" Army wife a few years ago and it caused words to fly across the blogosphere. (I'm sorta curious if she still shares the same opinion and if she'd have the balls to post it again, ha!)  I didn't post much about the discussion at the time, but I did post this originally on Memorial Day of 2009: Honoring the Sacrifices.  And of course, my favorite post of all time: National Guard: (Insert Joke Here)

I would like to point out two other things though that seem to get missed quite frequently in this discussion.

1.  If Army National Guardsmen are not soldiers, but are simply Guardsmen, then by the same token Army Reservists are also not soldiers, but are in fact Reservists.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but that follows the same logic.

So then that would also mean that those serving in the Navy Reserves are not Navymen, but Reservists, Air National Guard and Air Force Reserves are not Airmen, but Guardsmen and Reservists, Coast Guard Reserves are not Coast Guardsmen, but Reservists and...wait for it...those in the Marine Corp Reserves are not Marines they're simply Reservists.


Stings a little bit when another military spouse takes away the name you've worked your whole career for, huh?  Now throw in, "No offense, but Reservists just don't do as much as active duty to be considered Marines."  I'm guessing the dander is going up.  It seems that this way of thinking doesn't stop at National Guard soldiers, but extends to the entire military community.

2.  And the most obvious sign of all of whether or not those in the National Guard are in fact soldiers, regardless of how many NG spouses argue out the wahzoo that those in the NG are soldiers and we are "real" Army wives...


A search on the Department of Defense's website of the phrase "National Guard soldier" brings up 241 articles that include that phrase.  These articles include:


"..., an Army Commendation Medal for a National Guard soldier from Georgia..."
   "...a National Guard Soldier contributing to a CENTCOM..."
      "...The 21-year-old Iowa Army National Guard soldier discovered..."
         "...An Indiana National Guard soldier escorts an Afghan..."
            "...A Texas National Guard soldier receiving treatment..."
               "... A Pennsylvania National Guard soldier here can be doubly proud..."


I'm not seeing an article that says, "Oh, by the way, we've been wrong to use the term soldier in reference to National Guard."


I'm sure you see where I'm going with this, but if not, let me spell it out for you.  If the DoD calls them "National Guard soldiers" then *gasp* they must be soldiers.  I could be totally off base with this assumption, but I'm assuming the DoD knows what the proper names would be for it's personnel.  Shot in the dark on my part, but there it is.


Now just to do a little inappropriate rant because I want you to know how I really feel...


For those of you who say any of the following or any version thereof:


1. National Guardsmen are NOT soldiers.
2. When NG soldiers are not serving their one time a month and two weeks during the summer, they have a "normal" life.
3. NG soldiers are "lucky" because they get to work a "normal" 9-5 job.
4. NG soldiers don't sacrifice as much because they don't deploy as much.
5. NG soldiers don't work as hard or train as hard as active duty soldier.
6. NG soldiers need to "learn their role" because of numbers 1 through 5.


And then add, "But I totally respect NG.  You all serve our country, just in a different way." Followed by more pretty sounding bullsh*t...


To you I say...

...And a lot of pretty bullsh*t to try and make you feel just a little less worse about yourself.

What Did the Daddy Tomato Say to the Baby Tomato?

So let's "ketchup", shall we?

1. Stonewall and I separated, we got back together, we went to an intense couples workshop, and we're doing better than ever. Yay!

2.  I turned 30 and it rocks.  Don't you know, darlings?  30 is the new awesome.

3.  That couples workshop I mentioned.  Ah-mah-zing.  Life changing.  More on it later it was that good.

4.  Lil Mootz turned 3.  3!! As in, holy shit my kid is 3!  Yeah, I don't know where the time went either.

5.  Unless you're blind or have never been here before (totally awesome that you have a machine that can read my blog to you and welcome! You'll love it here!), you can see the blog has once again changed names and designs.  I like change.

6.  We got a new dog.  He's 15 pounds of rat terrier and Pomeranian.  He's a little menace, but super adorable.

7.  We got a new purple bed.  Yes, I said purple.  Yes, it is the most awesome thing you will ever see once I post pics.

8.  Pip Events is doing mighty fine.  We're working on making new products, including printable options.  It's a slow process with full-time jobs and families, but, much like the turtle, slow and steady is the way to go.

9.  Stonewall got a new job.  He's back to being a "Weekend Warrior" (whatever the hell that means because they tend to keep him for longer periods than just a weekend), and is already making heads turns at PPL.

10.  Lil Mootz speaks full sentences now.  This is a whole new world of hilarious. 
    
     Lil Mootz: She's hot, mommy.
     Me: What?
     Lil Mootz: Tinker Bell's hot.

And she is.  She's so damn cute even a then 2 year old noticed. 

There have been so many changes more around here...medical, emotional, decorating, traveling...seriously a lot happens in nine months.  So, stay tuned and we'll get all caught up and be friends again :)

How are all of you doing?  Any super big announcements I missed...marriage, baby, new business, lottery winner?   

I'm Getting the Itchies...

To write...blog...again.

Every where else is itch free.  Don't worry I'm not going to dump TMI on you like that after how many months of no contact.

"It's Me..." thank you for your comment :)